Failed Suicide Attempt

Surprisingly, my suicide attempt failed and I didnt even end up hospitalised..
I woke up the next morning feeling drowsy from the side effects of overdose and feeling drugged throughout the day..:(
perhaps 1/3 bottle or 30ml of cough medicine is too little to be considered as overdosed..
4days after the break up,i feel better now but still depressed sometimes:(
the mixed feelings of depressed,sadness,disappointment,angry have been clouding my heart..
all i wana know now is the REASON..reason of the break up..
why?why did u wana break up?there must be a reason to everything..
u cant slap a person without a reason..if not,the person will be angry of course..
also,it wont be fair if u jail a person without reason such as put a person into ISA..
if there is no reason for break up,do u think its being fair for me??
when u have feelings for me last time,u proposed to me..and now that u dun love me anymore,u just dump me like that??u wish that i would just disappear out of ur life,dun u?:(
the more u dun wana tell the reason,the more angry and bitter i will become..
dun u realise the impact on me?it already caused a huge impact on me..
my heart has been broken into thousands of pieces which god knows how long it would take to heals..although our relationship lasted less than 1 yr,but ours r the deepest love i have ever felt..
the impact also cause me to be afraid of emotionally involved in love anymore in the future:(
the feelings of rejection..is too much for me to bear..
for what i have sacrifised,this is what i get..really cant help to feel disappointed and helpless:(
even if im able to love again in the future,i would not sacrifise so much anymore..
there is no point being good to other ppl when there is no guarantee that i would be appreciated..
im really tired and hurtful of love..really dun have the mood to look for someone new now..
loneliness is making me so depressed:(
there is nobody for me to hug when im cold,
no hand for me to hold to when i walk,
nobody to sleep beside me at night,
nobody for me to call and tell stories to,
my heart is feeling empty..so empty..it has lost the passion and reason to beats..
the fear of feeling sweet love again..which is so pure and yet so fragile..
depression..u come and gone..causing me undescribeable suffering..:(
i just wish that the pain would just go away..
and i myself would just float far far away into the land of unknown..