Lonely and Disappointed Beyond Words..

what can i say??no words can describe my feelings right now..
im very lonely,sad,miserable and disappointed:(
sad because my bf doesnt even time for me..
i know he is working but everyone else is also working..
but how could they spend time together with their gf nicely??
he said he wants to rest at home and i would understand the meaning of rest once i start working..
and so ur definition of rest is to out with friends,dota,gym,tv series..???
going out with colleagues whom u can see everyday,playing dota at least 2-3times per week,
going to gym 1-2 times per week...
but seeing his gf??only 2-3 times per month:(
that also im the one who always make the effort to ask him whether can meet or not..
that also i have to ask whether can go over to his place or not..
even if i go to his place,he does not really like it and acts cold towards me:(
im not forcing him to come over to my place..if would be wonderful if he comes..
even if i go to his place also,i can feel that im troublesome for him:(
im sick these past few days..did he come over to see me?No.
i was depressed because of constant worried of a certain test.did he comes to see me?No.
im really pokai and only have RM100 left..im not saying that u should give me money but u dun even care to help me with financial matters..its not like u dun have money since u r working..
i feel very lonely these few days..I have already told him last month that I would be going back only on 3rd day of raya so that i could spend time with him.does he remembers that?i doubt.
im being left alone here,trapped at home so lonely when everyone else is having fun and hanging out with someone else..:(
i also dun wana feel alone and left out..does he cares?No.
in the end,im being left alone depressed,miserable,sad and lonely..
how i wish he could call me instead of me calling him..
even plain sms could cheer me up everyday..
how i wish he could just do something or surprise me to cheer me up..
how i wish he could actually take the effort to come over to see me..
but i guess all that wont happen..
all that i will get is disappointment and will always be disappointment:(
i guess im really not important for him at all..
he put everything else above me..tv series,dota,gym,his other friends..
who am i to him?im just nothing,invisible,non significance,a burden for him..
what am i lacking till he treats me this way??
i try my best to spend time with him,being faithful..
i even try my best not to be like his ex who doesnt have time to spend with him..
have u forgotten that u were once lonely last time and yearn for ppl to call ur phone?
now that u have many friends and things to do,have u forgotten someone else who is lonely??
do u even care??:(
sad,sad..no true words could describe my feelings right now..:(